Before there was the dream of a baby in our womb, there was the reality of a Baby in our arms. The one who loves us, who believes in us, and who also feels the pain of loss that infertility can bring (though they likely tell us very little about just how much, caring for our hurts instead).
This Valentine’s Day, may we all step aside from our longing for a few moments to remember what it was that started the desire to begin with. Put away the basal thermometer and timed goal-driven sex. Turn off the faucet to our tears and on the spark of passion and desire that sets us aflame in the eyes of the men who love us.
Today, I will stop working, stop efforting, stop grieving, and stop focusing on all that consumes me. Instead, I will revel in our love, the foundation for our future family.
Today I will go back to the woman I was once before. The one who laughed uncontrollably at his silliness, who felt butterflies when catching him just staring at me, and the one who owned her succulence, her delicious and infections appetite for life, and who exemplified zest and passion for him.
A few days ago my husband sent me an email, simply saying “Goddess, You are more magnificent than you realize.” Today, I say to him, “Baby you, you got what I need. Baby you, you got my sunshine.”