With the Loss Which Accompanies Infertility: What Is It That You Were Given?

“What Is It That You Were Given?” 

There is surely a loss, a great loss, which accompanies infertility to our door in the middle of the night while we dream in a content slumber–so assured of life’s natural progression.

That loss empties us out, brings us down to our knees, and can leave us feeling as though every foundation that held us up has been ripped from beneath our stumbling feet.

Yet when we are ready, we may wonder, what is it that we were given in this emptying? What has come to fill us back up?

Like butterflies emerging from a cocoon, or the phoenix rising from the ashes, eventually we may see that in becoming empty we were made so much more full.

“What Is It That You Were Given?”

by Em Claire

What is it that you were given?
I mean from the loss.
After, what was taken.
that very thing, you could never live without.
The person or place;
the secret, or circumstance –
now that it is gone,
or has been found out,
and you can no longer call it foundation
what is it that you were given?

You know, and I know, this:
there is a hollowing out.
Something comes and opens you up

right
down
the
middle

and from that moment on
you are no longer immune to this world.

You wake, you wander,
every familiar, now a foreign.
You walk as through water
until you make it back to your bed
and finally, even there—
your sheets; your own pillow’s scent different,
as if daily someone repaints your room, displaces something,
disturbs a cherished memento.

You see,
sometimes we are emptied.
We are emptied
because
Life wants us to know
so
much
more
Light.

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