Infertility, a Constant Longing for the Future: How to Stop Yearning and Revel in the Now

What we look for does not come to pass. God finds a way for what none foresaw.

– Euripides

We are a future minded being, us humans. We are constantly looking either forward, or backward to anticipate what might come in the forward. It can be so very hard to simply reside in the now.

This realization came to me clear as day this past weekend as my husband and I celebrated the marriage of two dear friends on the sandy, and windy, beach of the eastern coastline.

She looked so lovely, beyond beautiful, with her perfectly shaped silhouette. And he seemed so content to be holding her hand.

It was then that I realized just how many weddings I had sat through before in my life. How many of them I had shared joy for the bride and groom, yet longed to step into their shoes of a lifetime commitment, and that fairytale “happy ending.”

Yet, it wasn’t until I let go of all my longings for some future, and really began to enjoy my life as it was presented right in front of me, that I found myself walking down that aisle into my future along with them.

This weekend I began wondering if I may very well be doing the same thing now that I had done then. Have I so very quickly stopped being in my now because I have jumped right into the future?

The desire for something more in life, for dreams to take flight, often gives us the push we need in our lives to achieve great heights. Yet, I can’t help but wonder if when it comes to fertility, we need to learn how to be present and happy in our now in order for the future to unfold in a way we may never have forseen.

We do not know what tomorrow will bring us. Try as we might, we cannot effort into being a child in our wombs. However, perhaps once we embrace this mystery and begin reveling in the now, we will wake up to find ourselves quite surprised at just how our future has arrived.


  1. such a true and wise concept! i find myself constantly longing, wishing, hoping for the things i want, for the future i want, rather than enjoying the moments i have right now. thank you for reminding me of that 🙂

  2. I would hazard to guess that it’s something we all struggle with. Hopefully however from focusing on the abundance that is, we will move more easily into the abundance that is to come!

  3. The last two paragraphs totally floored me. This is one of the most thought provoking reads I have read in a long time.

  4. Thanks Andy 🙂 The concept certainly gives me pause to stop and ponder.

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