Ask the Expert: Advice from a Grandmother on Infertility

My Grandma and Dad

First, I must say, I love my Grandma. She is feisty as feisty comes, she is small but mighty, and if she thinks it (fortunately or unfortunately) she says it.

When I recently spoke with her, I felt her words were true gems.

She said:

“Shannon, it doesn’t matter how they get here, it’s what you do with them afterword that matters most. Don’t ever let someone tell you that you shouldn’t adopt because you don’t know what you are getting. None of us know!”

My grandmother knows I have been struggling with fertility, and rather than go on and on about how I should (or shouldn’t) try one thing after another, she tells me that after living 90+ years, she knows with absolute certainty that being a mother is about what happens from birth onward.

I still feel that there is a good likelihoode my husband and I will conceive naturally when the time is right, yet the times I find my eyes tearing up these days are when I see or read stories about the bond that comes with adoption. I don’t know why, it is simply a seed that was planted in me and one that keeps being watered.

So today, I call on one expert I respect more than any other. One who has lived 90 plus years on this crazy ride called life. And today, I share with you her wisdom.

It matters not how your children arrive, release your attachment to the how, and begin embracing all that is to follow in the eternity of their lives.

Let go and allow their little spirits to find you in their own way–for they surely will. And what will make you a mother is all the days that follow their arrival. It is those days that will break you and make you anew.


  1. […] Ask the Expert: Advice from a Grandmother on Infertility … […]

  2. […] via their own womb, yet for others it will come to them on the wings of their heart’s creation Both are miraculous, both are beautiful, and both are incredible blessings […]

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