Saturday morning at 11:30am I fell in love–totally and completely in love. Her name is Brigid Rose and she was born Friday afternoon. She is the newest member of my husband’s family, born to a wonderful mommy and daddy whom we love very much.
There was a time when the thought of holding another woman’s miracle would bring me to lip trembling sniffles. So Saturday, it was completely freeing to find myself feeling love stronger than I ever have; feeling myself full of giggles and squeezes and cuddles.
Sometimes on the road to healing infertility we can get lost in the mire of disappointment, of fixation on one end-goal, of self-involvement. What we can miss in so doing are the beautiful miracles that float into our lives along the way.
So while baby showers can still leave me with tinges in my gut, I discovered this weekend that pouring out baby love in any direction it can flow will not.
As my husband stood holding Brigid my heart swelled to bigger than I thought it could. I was all smiles at the realization that one day he will hold our daughter or son in just that same way.
By releasing my attachment to the “how,” and delighting in the “now,” I have found the world’s best cure for infertility–a brand new life in my arms.
Little Brigid is the dream made manifest, and all her sweet smells and funny faces only draw me closer to the day the life in my arms will be my own, forever.
Yes, Saturday I fell in love. And Saturday I knew more than any other time in my life, that one day this moment will be mine.
And all because I allowed myself to wallow in the perfection of little Brigid Rose, who in her complete innocence knew how to open my heart and heal me.