Breaking up is hard to do: When it is time to say goodbye to your infertility doctor

Today I need to break up with my acupuncturist. Well not completely break up, more like we’ll be “on a break,” Like Rachel and Ross on “Friends,” without the drama.

Why oh why am I feeling all of this anxiety about it? I mean I pay the woman, a not so insubstantial amount, for the treatments. She is a doctor, me a patient, we are not friends.

Or are we?

No, she and I do not meet over tea and discuss the ups and downs of life. However, we do meet each week (and for the first year twice a week) over needles and a few good laughs. She healed me when no one else would even believe enough to try. She’s seen me at my worst, and simply let me be there, no judgment.

On the fertility journey we can forge unexpected attachments, surprising connections, with people who at times know more about our bodies than even we do. So what happens when it is time to break up?

I suppose nothing much. I suppose it will be a phone call, an appointment cancellation, and a mention of coming back in a few months–I just need a break from it all for awhile.

When I began dreading the needles, fretting over the financial drain, and stressing about how to fit the appointment into my schedule, I knew it was time. We had to break up.

Breaking up is hard to do, however sometimes it is necessary.

With a heart full of gratitude, and an intuition full of knowing, we step away and towards what feels right for us right now. Knowing that our lives were made better for the place they fit into them. Yet every great performance has a swan song, and this is ours.

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