Who were you before all the fertility treatments, prescriptions, procedures, and diagnoses began?
Were you happy?
The woman who you were in the beautiful naivety that blossomed before a label was placed onto your shoulders like a boulder on an ant is still there. She is underneath the self-judgment, she is underneath the blame, and she is underneath the feelings of defeat.
She is there, and if you take time to find her, she will remind you where “happy” resides.
Not a single one of us would experience joy if happiness were attached at the hip to perfection, like peanut butter and chocolate in a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.
Luckily, happiness is always there, lurking beneath the context of our lives, just waiting to be unearthed. Today may be a day to take time for an archeological dig.
Discovering the woman you were before infertility became a word in your vocabulary can be like discovering the diamond under all the dirt. She is there, and my goodness does she ever sparkle when the sunlight hits her surface.
Being happy is not about life’s perfection; it is about having the courage to look to the sun even amidst the storm clouds. Being happy is about glimpsing beyond the vista we see when intently focused on that which lies directly in front of us.
Being happy is simply about being here, right here, right now, dancing in the raindrops and giggling with the storm clouds. Who are they to darken the sunshine? Surely no matter how valiantly they try, it will prove an impossible feat when the sun is shining not from above, but from within.
Today be your own sunshine, and shine brighter than you have in years. You will be amazed how many people in your life have missed, and longed for, that smile–including the woman in the mirror who’s been waiting for you to come back for longer than you know.
Today, find your happy.