Infertility & Relationships: Does a Cold Heart mean a Cold Uterus?


“Forgiveness is the act of admitting we are like other people.”

― Christina Baldwin

Last night my husband brought me a peace offering, six boxes of toothpaste from his company store. In return, I offered the homemade chicken noodle soup I had made that afternoon.

We have come a long way. In the early years of our relationship the concept of a peace offering just 24 hours after a whopper of a fight was so foreign that even white was banned from our wardrobe for days on end (ok not literally, but you know what I mean).

Relationships are a negotiation, they are a give and take, and they are a constant act of kindness and forgiveness, with a heap of humility and acceptance on top. Nothing in our life will test us like a relationship, and nothing in our life will heal us like a relationship. In them we find the best and worst parts of ourselves–amplified.

I love my husband; I think I loved him from the first time we sat up talking on the beach all night long–almost a decade ago. And some days I would like to lock him in the attic and throw away the key (again not literally, and again I think you know what I mean). No doubt he feels this duality of emotions about me as well.

So today I find myself wondering, does a cold heart mean a cold uterus? How do our emotions affect our fertility? When our hurt surpasses our healing, can our emotions be the gatekeeper to our uterus?

Our bodies are equipped with “fight or flight” survival skills. We rock when faced with “Survivor” reality TV dilemmas. Our bodies know just how to keep us from harm.

Yet too often the harm we fail to see is the harm that can come from emotional turmoil–the harm that can seep into every crevice of our psyche when we avoid looking it in the eye.

Having disagreements is a part of being in relationship, yet harboring them for eternity is not. Perhaps it is time to say your piece, and then to hand over your peace offering. Toothpaste in return for a warm heart, and a warm uterus, heck of a bargain if you ask me.

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