Sometimes our calling is greater than we know.
Sometimes our dreams are smaller than our wings.
And sometimes our purpose is unveiled through heartache.
There have been times over the last two years when I found myself angry and wondering why I have been given the burden of infertility to carry. Times when I look over at my husband, surrounded by our nephews and more authentically himself than anywhere else, and wonder why? Why us?
Infertility can feel like a dashing of dreams, like a thief that siphons off our joy like the gas from the last working fuel pump on earth. Infertility can feel like a walking death.
Yet what we must remember is that sometimes our calling in this life is greater than we can imagine. Sometimes the gifts we have been given to share are bigger than our dreams. And sometimes it is our devastation and heartbreak that will lead us to them.
I may never carry a child in my womb. I may never usher forth life from my body. I may never know what it feels like to look into eyes that match mine. However, because of that I can look into the eyes of another woman and know the devastation that has rocked her to her core. I can hold the hand of a friend and speak all the feelings from deep in her heart that she has not found the words for yet. And I can open my home to a tiny human being and love them from a heart cracked completely open so that it is wider than even I thought possible—wider than it would ever have been had I not faced infertility.
So today I encourage you to think beyond the bounds of your body and your broken dreams. Reach further than you believe the feathers of your experience can take you. And maybe, just maybe, you will find that through your heartache, your life’s purpose has been revealed.