Infertility–Live in the Now: Step out of “what if” and into “what is”

Live In The Now

Ellis Paul – \”Live in the Now\” (click to play)

Lately I have found myself wondering “what if” a lot.

What if I would have been encouraged to follow my passion for writing from the very beginning of my education?

What if I would have gone straight through my education, finished my PhD, and began the career of my dreams in my twenties?

What if I would have started trying to get pregnant when I was twenty-four rather than thirty-four?

There are so many “what ifs—an endless world of “what ifs.”

Yet sometimes the most important “what if” we forget to ponder is the “what if I hadn’t?”

What if I hadn’t moved across the country and started over only to find more true friends than I had ever known?

What if I hadn’t waited to start trying for a family until I found the right man, and we worked through our relationship struggles to find harmony?

What if I hadn’t lost the dream before it found me after years of struggle, with which came the experiences that taught me to see it when it arrived?

Every turn we take in the road of our lives leads us down a different path. Each choice leaves us surrendering to the outcome.

Our lives are as intricate as the matrix of constellations in the sky–move one star and Orion loses his belt.

So perhaps today is a day to step out of “what if” and into “what is.”

We will never know “what if” . . . and if we fail to see “what is” our chance to appreciate it will be forever gone. “Tell me which part is it the castle, or the sand that you miss when the tide comes along?”

Ellis Paul
“Live in the Now”

I’ve got a farm house,
It’s a big white farmhouse
And forty acres in my head
You got a kitchen,
It’s an oak floor kitchen
And a big brass feather bed
And there in the parlor,
An old upright piano
And a precocious blue-eyed kid
Playing the keys
Playing the keys

Live in the now
A room with a view of Cambridge
Live in the now
Traffic, noise, and neighborhood kids
We’re sitting in the kitchen
You reach cross the table
And put a finger on my wrinkled brow
You say, “Live in the now,
Live in the now”

‘Cause life is what happens
When you’re busy making plans
That’s what John Lennon said
Then he quit the phuckin’ band

Tell me which part
Is it the castle, or the sand
That you miss when the tide comes along?


  1. Thank you for this precious reminder,

  2. This is a brilliant poem. So true that we should be grateful with what we have now. (I found you through the circlebloom competition)

    1. Thanks so much Heather, glad you found your way here. I read your submission as well (Circle + Bloom), it was wonderful. And a huge congratulations on those two little lines 🙂

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