Infertility & marriage: Sharing your saved up wishes

“When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.”

― Elizabeth Bowen


Photo by Hosfeld Photography

As a little girl I was a day dreamer. I could dream any day away all by myself–in fact by myself was my favorite place to be. My happiest hours were spent stretching my legs as far as they would go flying high on the swing set, staging elaborate scenarios with my tiny play mobile people, and writing secret stories in the middle of a green grass lawn or a quiet nook in the house. I savored all the dreams trapped inside my little girl heart and my little girl boundary-less imagination.

And then I grew up.

Somewhere along the way my dreams got less frequent, and my attention to them became more diverted. I longed for greater time to myself and for greater space for my day dreams. However, life takes over and before we know it we’re no longer in the driver’s seat, rather we’ve somehow become backseat drivers.

And then we fall in love.

When we fall in love day dreams find us once again. With a gush like the wind in a monsoon, all of our saved-up wishes start coming out.

One day dream nearly every girl has is of the day when their Prince Charming lovingly dotes on them as they usher a new life into this world. It’s a beautiful day dream, it’s one that all the storybooks promise us. Yet some day dreams don’t leap to life like Snow White waking from her long slumber to the kiss of her Prince. Sometimes our dreams leave us empty handed.

Yet here’s the thing about day dreams–there is always time to build more.

The other day as I talked to my husband about exploring the option of fostering to adopt I found myself falling down the rabbit hole into a whole new magical world.

When we are little girls we day dream what has been placed within our sights as possible. We day dream what the world tells us are beautiful dreams–and they are.

When we become women the wisdom that comes from the years in between teaches us how to dream new dreams. What is important to remember is that those dreams are no less magical than the fantasies of our childhood. In some ways those dreams are even more magnificent because they are dreams whose story lines are written not by one, but by two who have saved up all of their wishes to share them only with each other.

Today I dedicate my writing to my “other.” The one who spins new dreams with me, and the one who will bring magic to life through the gift of being a daddy–however we together dream that dream into being. You are all of my saved up wishes in one.


One comment

  1. Such a beautiful post.

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