Infertility & Dress Shopping

A friend whom I admire greatly for her courage has been facing the array of choices for motherhood with her husband head on over the last several years.

She tried medical intervention, she sought Eastern assistance through acupuncture and herbs, she invested in visits to an Integrative OBGYN, she explored adoption through an attorney, and then through an agency, and she let her heart visit the place of a happy life including just she and her husband.

Facing all of these choices with such raw and open emotion was one of the bravest acts of courage I have ever seen.

When we are young, and know no better about the hardships of life, starting a family, or choosing not to, does not normally proceed from such determined acts of courage.

Yet for those of us facing some of the most difficult questions in life having lived a good stretch of life, courage is a prerequisite.

I suppose that for us the decisions about how, when, and if we have a family are a bit like dress shopping.

Some of us will walk into the first boutique, put on the first dress that catches our eye, and find ourselves in the perfect flattering fit that we know no other can top.

For others of us we may need to shop around for awhile, try on many dresses–never knowing what we will see in the mirror when we turn around.

For my friend, after years of shopping, when she finally felt the last soft silk dress fall effortlessly against her life, and saw that it accentuated all of her assets, she knew that this dress fit right. And from my vantage point in the mirror of her life, she’s stunning.

May we all have her courage to stay in the dressing room of life until we find the choice that fits our silhouette just right. I promise it’s out there just waiting to be slipped on.


  1. So beautifully put, Shannon. You are such a good writer.

    1. Thank you Heather, you’re so generous with your encouragement and support. Many thanks.

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