Infertility & asking for support: Why is it so hard?

It’s an easy enough concept. Have a need, ask for support. Simple right? Well, not really.

I believe women are by nature givers of help. We arrive at each other’s doors with bottles of wine, armfuls of hugs, and comfort food when times get tough.

Yet how often do we turn the tables and ask others for support when we really need it most?

When facing fertility struggles we often go interior, afraid to let others see our disappointments. Sometimes we hide in the shadows of our shame–deeming ourselves unworthy for the light others may shine onto our personally perceived failure.

Sometimes however, we simply must allow ourselves to ask for support. We must see ourselves as the deserving human beings that we are. We must be willing to allow others to see into our secret places, which hold the untold stories of our broken hearts.

I began writing this blog so sure that the start of our family was just around the corner. I was certain that the healing my body was experiencing would easily usher forth the “happily every after” of infertility blog-land where those who have been there are visited by those who are still on their way. I thought that the value of my “voice” would come from the wisdom on the other side.

And then my life simply happened the way it was always meant to be. And my story became entagled with all of yours.

When I entered the Circle + Bloom Women’s Health Advocacy contest it was with trepidation for I believed that my voice was not important because I did not have the “and this is how it all worked out” chapter yet. I was afraid to be the lost soul amongst the found sisters at the church revival.

And then so many women (and men), family, friends, and strangers spoke back to me. They were the mirror that I needed to see that this place, this in between, is where my voice fits.

So as the Circle + Bloom Women’s Health Advocacy contest comes to a close I am asking for your support. I am in serious contention to win the competition, and in serious need of the extra cash.

I would be eternally grateful to anyone who would be willing to CLICK < Circle + Bloom Women’s Health Advocacy contest > and leave a comment at the bottom of the page under my submission. Also, if you know others who may be willing to help out as well, my gratitude to them.

It is hard to ask for support. It was hard to write this blog. Sometimes I feel like a failure because of my failure to conceive. Yet perhaps it is that failure that is teaching each of us exactly what we need for the next stage of our lives, being someone’s mommy. And for that, I will need to ask for support–often and always.

Thank you humbly for allowing me to “fail,” yet still be valuable.


  1. You are valuable. 🙂 And I already left my comment. 🙂

    1. Right back atcha Heather. I’m in good company. 🙂

  2. You have not failed. Your body has failed you. You are valuable no matter what!

    1. Thank you for your sweet and supportive words. A deep thanks.

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