Fertility challenges: If it is so hard, does that mean it’s not meant to be?

In my life I have often found that when I am doing what I am suppose to be doing, when I am truly on the right path for my life, things flow. There is a smoothness to the unfolding, and doors open that I hadn’t even realized were there before.

So what does it mean when we’re trotting along and all of a sudden we slam against a brick wall?

Does it mean that it’s not meant to be?

I suppose there was a time I might have thought this to be true. I thought that when things are hard, it means that they are not the right thing–turn about face and find another path.

Yet lately I am learning that this course of action is not always the best. You see, when we are on the right course there will be smooth times, and there will be bumpy times. In fact I believe that the closer we are coming to our deepest calling and desire, the bumpier it becomes. It is as if life is testing us to see just how deeply we really want the illusive end goal, and just how much of our souls we are willing to pour into it’s creation.

When recently my research site backed out at the 11th hour, throwing hundreds of hours of my work completely out the window, I seriously considered walking away. I mean should it be this hard if it’s what I’m meant to be doing?

The answer. Unequivocally yes.

Yes, it should be this hard because in order to be made sometimes we must be broken apart.

As I have spent hours and hours and hours researching and feverishly writing–attempting to resurrect my Dissertation from the graveyard of PhD’s gone wrong–I have found an interest and passion that had been missing before. In refocusing my study I have found it’s true focus, the one it was always meant to have.

So sometimes when it is so hard, we know that it is exactly what we are meant to be doing.

Facing challenges with conception can leave us pondering if perhaps motherhood is simply not to be for us. For some, perhaps this is the case. For others however, the nearer you are to the end line, the more you must dig down deep into your soul for the well of your determination. For it is within that well that your strength and fortitude lie in wait.

Allow yourself to be broken open so that you can be made anew into the version of yourself you were always meant to be. Find your purpose and never, ever give up on that purpose. For the new life you are creating is in actuality your own.


  1. Good post. Out with the old in with the new. Good luck for your new dissertation and I’m glad it is coming together.
    I’m still looking for my purpose / life work. I guess I am still a work in progress..

    1. I suppose we are all a work in progress–you never know what the next stretch of road may bring! I have a feeling the experiences you have gone through over the last several years are leading you there. Keep writing if it’s what makes your heart sing!!

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