Infertility & life changes: When you feel the shift, don’t be afraid to lean into it

When we are on the precipice of a change in life, many times we can feel the shift within us before it is upon us.

For example, you may begin to feel listless in a job, a relationship, or with your doctor. You may notice your attention floating away, and your interior space often distracted when you are in that place, with that person, or doing that thing.

These shifts are our friends; they are our intuition telling us that a transformation is upon us. When they arrive, lean into them, do not be afraid of the uncomfortable feeling they have ushered into your being.

It is not uncommon to feel this unsettled feeling, to label it as unhappiness, and then to dig our heels in trying to “force” the situation to go back to the balanced way it felt before. This reaction may too be a part of our path, a part of the transition.

Yet what you may find is that if you lean into the change, embrace it with open arms, and begin exploring where this shift may take you, you will remain in the flow of life. In so doing, the change then ushers forth easily. And as if by some miraculous manifestation, a new job will appear at your door; a relationship will end and another, deeper connection arises; a treatment plans comes to conclusion and a child ushers forth to you through a route you never before would have expected. You are in the flow.

Four years ago I felt the shift; I knew it was time to go. I declared that my job would change before the end of the summer (only 3 months away). I felt it very deeply. I knew I would find a job that I loved, working part-time, with benefits, and with a salary large enough to sustain me while I worked through the remainder of my PhD. Within one month I did–I found the job that everyone else thought did not exist. Why? Because I felt the change and I allowed myself to float downstream to where it wanted to take me. We are always held and supported, if we allow ourselves to be.

And now, I feel the shift happening again. I feel its uncomfortable edges, tinged with fear, and I feel the exhilarating excitement for where my feet will land when I jump. And now the hard part–to practice patience and openness within the same breath.

When you feel your life shifting, when you feel yourself become unenthusiastic, difficult to motivate, and emotionally separating, lean into it. For the life you desire, and the passion you are seeking, lies just on the other side of these rapids.

Lean in and ride the rapids out to your next destination. For it is only when you attempt to fight them that you are thrown from the raft into the tumultuous water, nearly drowning, nailing sharp rocks along the bottom, until the water forces you to the other side. Either passageway to the next place is ok, both are correct, yet one is a bit easier than the other. The choice is yours.

My two cents: lean in, yell out a “YAHOO!” and make the most of the ride of your life!


  1. LOVE this post.

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