Self doubt, fear, and standing still: What if they discover I’m a fraud?

Have you been living your life like a frozen statue? Stuck in a place, in a position, in a relationship, or relationships, that isn’t feeding you?

It can be easy, oh so easy, to create the illusion that we are a victim of our own circumstances–the world is at fault for our painful locale in life. Yet, nothing could be further from the truth.

Every day, each moment, every single choice point, is no one’s responsibility but our own. In these crossroads we have the choice to go left, to turn right, to stand still–frozen, or even to back up. And the choice that we make at that junction either frees us, or creates another shackle to the position that is no longer comfortable to stand in.

Deep down we all harbor a secret, inner fear–a fear that we are rarely willing to admit.

What if they discover I’m a fraud?

Though on the surface we can appear strong, determined, and self-confident, in the quiet hours we hear the voice of a nagging witch that pokes us like the sewing needle hitting the thimble.

What if we take the leap, seek greener pastures, take solid steps toward leaving our job, the company, or ending a friendship, and in our venturing out we are exposed as the inept fraud we fear ourselves to be?

That insidious voice is often fueled by challenges with conception. Like lighter fluid on a slowly simmering fire, infertility can create a gigantic flame of self doubt. A flame that blinds us to the array of choices that lies in front of us.

So how do we de-ice ourselves?

The only way to stop standing still is to bend our knees, swing our arms, and jump into the air. Take the leap, take the risk, and prove the inner wicked witch wrong.

When we hold onto our “woe is me” stories about how we are victims, we can never, not ever, become the hero. We must be willing to break through all of these false protections to take the risk that in so doing we may fail spectacularly.Because you see, we may also succeed spectacularly. And regardless, we will have moved out of our ice castle and onto the sandy white beaches of life, riding in like the woman with the flowing hair on the back of the white horse with Fabio. When we are freed from the ice we are finally able to gallop into the possibilities that lie down this stretch of beach.

So perhaps today is a good day to take out your ice pick and begin making cracks in the armor of all that holds you back. For the only thing that will make you a fraud is the lack of courage to live an authentically bold and daring life.

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