Infertility & the daughter I haven’t met yet: There is a red thread

The Invisible Red Thread

“An invisible red thread connects those destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstances. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break.” 

Ancient Chinese Proverb

“The Red Thread of Destiny is a belief that comes from an old Chinese legend. Also known as the red thread of fate or red string of fate, it means that people who are destined to meet are tied together with an invisible red thread . . . . The saying is that when a baby is born, he or she is already connected to the important people in his or her life.”

I believe that there is a thread, perhaps a red thread, that ties all of us to all those who have gone before us, making us who we were meant to become; to those who hold us tenderly in the today of our lifetime; and to those tiny souls who will be placed into our care for the rest of our eternity. We are all connected to one another. And though that connection may be tied in knots by infertility, or stretched to its near tearing point from the pounding force of disappointment, it will never, ever break.

Your child is tied to you, they are no less a part of you than the blood that beats through your heart. When you feel them getting closer your heart will tug, it will pull, and it will ache, just to touch them.

And that red thread will pull them to you, either through your body, or through your soul. Your child is tied to you, just as you were tied to your mother. There is a red thread between you and the child destined to be yours.

So today I write to the daughter I have not met yet, my daughter. On whatever angel wings you may travel to my arms, there you will forever belong, because the red thread that ties me to you and you to me will never, ever break. All that forever more matters is how happy I am that you are mine.


  1. Beautiful post. I know that she is coming (but just remember that she might be a he!)!

    1. 🙂 Ah, right you are Heather. Though if my gut intution is right, it’ll be a girl first, and then a boy. Though either, in any order, would be heaven sent.

  2. Katherine · · Reply

    This is such a beautiful post! I love the idea of the red thread connecting us to our future children.

    1. Thank you Katherine. Best to you as you move along that thread to your future child.

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