Infertility and Marriage: Should I have a fling?

Today I have one question for you, one very important question.

Would you want to date you?

I suppose before I go further I should be clear. No, I do not recommend having a fling with someone else when infertility takes a toll on your marriage. I do however recommend having a fling with yourself.

You see sometimes we look to our partners, to the “other” in our duo, to make us happy. We look to them as though it is their job to read our minds, to understand our woes, and to make it all better. Yet, that’s not their job. The responsibility for our happiness lies directly on our own shoulders.

So again I ask you, would you want to date you?

For years I have looked to my husband to make my birthday a special day, the kind of day that would make me feel loved, appreciated, and celebrated. And well frankly, that’s where I went all wrong.

You see in order to be loved, appreciated, and celebrated we must love, appreciate, and celebrate ourselves. We must know what makes us happy, and we must be unafraid to ask for it, and most importantly to give it to ourselves.

And so, yesterday I had a fling. I had a fling with myself. And you know what I discovered? I make a darn good date!

I got myself just what I wanted for breakfast, I treated myself to shoes from my favorite outlet, I strolled for hours through the tulips (my favorite flowers) in Longwood Gardens while listening to my favorite music, I had movie theatre popcorn and soda for lunch–while watching a movie I had wanted to see for some time, and basically, I had an incredible day.

By the time my husband returned home from work with beautiful flowers, a perfect birthday gift, and plans for an evening of spoiling me, I was so happy that all he bestowed on me was the nectar spilling over from an already full cup.

So perhaps the next time you are feeling the need for some nurturing, some fun, some caring, take the time to make sure that you would date you. Have a fling with yourself. You, and your marriage, will be better for it.


  1. Happy Birthday! I am so glad that you enjoyed your day! xo

  2. Thank you Linda. I, as always, loved my birthday song from you and the kids! 🙂

  3. Happy birthday!

  4. sounds like the greatest day EVER. can’t think of anyone who deserves it more!

    1. Thanks so much Annie 🙂

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