How to sift through the pain of infertility to find the good stuff

When things don’t work out as we planned, it’s what happens instead that is the good stuff.”

– The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

 Please, please, please, I beg of you, don’t miss the good stuff.

I know the dashed hopes; I know the dreams left barren; I know the pain, the failure, the devastation, of infertility. Yet I also know that when things don’t work out as we had planned, it’s what happens instead that is the good stuff.

Instead of easily becoming pregnant I learned how to listen, intimately, to my body.

I became the healer.

Instead of easily conceiving, my marriage was shaken down to its core so that a foundation as strong as the one holding the Eiffel Tower could take hold.

I became the partner for life.

Instead of becoming pregnant without trying, I unearthed friendships made of genuine Gucci, and those that were cheap knock-offs. The knock-offs went to the wayside.

I became the real friend.

Instead of seeing a pink plus, my hard heart, protected from all of the pains along the way, was broken wide open so that I could love, really love, in a way I never had before.

I became the lover.

Instead of conceiving from my body, I conceived from my mind. I learned to open doors so others might too find them.

I became the teacher.

Instead of a baby planted in my womb, I watered seeds of creativity and gifts planted long, long ago that were only awaiting a few rays of light to grow.

I became the writer.

And instead of conceiving a child from my womb, I became the glass pane cleaned by the strongest Windex. I have become clear, of all that encumbered me.

I became the mother.

When we are able to sift through the pain of our infertility, it is there that we will find the good stuff. In the sifting we can see that it was only because things did not work out as planned, that so, so, so much good stuff came in to fill that empty space.

Don’t miss the good stuff.


  1. There’s no “love” button, so I will just say it: I love this.

    1. 🙂 thank you Daryl!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: