Infertility: She Let Go And She Let It All Be

IMG_3285At times on the journey toward conscious conception we may find ourselves having delusions of grandeur, perhaps better known as delusions that we have control.

In those moments we are usually quickly reminded that finally getting the one thing that we want most is totally and completely out of our control, no matter how hard we try to bring it into being.

And so what if we just let go? What if we let it all be?

Not because we have cried all of our tears. Not because we have read books or been through counseling. What if we let it all be because it already is, even if we refuse to acknowledge this truth.

Give up? No. Stop trying? No. Forget our dreams? No.

Just make peace with what is and let go of the how and what will be.

SHE LET GO

Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of fear.

She let go of judgments.

She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.

She let go of the committee of indecision within her.

She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.

Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice.

She didn’t read a book on how to let go.

She just let go.

She let go of all the memories that held her back.

She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.

She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go.

She didn’t journal about it.

She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.

She made no public announcement.

She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.

She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.

She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.

She didn’t utter one word.

She just let go.

No one was around when it happened.

There was no applause or congratulations.

No one thanked her or praised her.

No one noticed a thing.

Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good. It wasn’t bad.

It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be.

A small smile came over her face.

A light breeze blew through her.

And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.

– Dr. Ernest Homes

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4 comments

  1. Letting go is the most simple thing and yet the most difficult. Thanks for the beautiful reminder that every moment I can choose to release, to be, to breathe

    1. Very well said, so simple, and yet so complex at the same time. And so I suppose that it is one breath at a time.

  2. I just nominated you for the Food for Thought Award. I’m posting about it this morning!

    1. So kind, thank you so very much barrentoblessed!

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