Infertility Kaleidoscope: Four Months & Bouncy Balls

Mena%20&%20ShanLast week was a bit of a tough week for me; tough like a rattlesnake bite in the middle of a desert. Yet, I survived.

And today, when I look through my kaleidoscope of experiences, I can see a few things I couldn’t see before.

I see four months and a bouncy ball.

So today I share those lessons with you. Perhaps you too are finding your vision altered by the kaleidoscope of perspective and time.

  1. If the birth mother had not changed her mind, if she would have placed with us, I would have missed four months. I would have missed the first four months, well really the first eight months. You see I have always loved, loved, loved the infant stage that so many people hate/dread. I love when babies are so tiny that all they want is to be held, and fed, and changed, and then held again. I was made for that holding, and if this opportunity would not have fallen through, I would have missed those first precious four months. Thank you to my beautiful niece for teaching me that lesson, all four months of her.
  2. Where there’s a down, there’s an up. For some reason my heart needed to be like a bouncy ball. I needed to learn that when I feel the pounding of cement against my heart, I will rebound, and soon I will find the sky again. My heart needed to learn to bounce better.

On this journey we can all feel hopeless, we can all feel defeated, yet I promise, cross my heart, that there is always a silver lining. For me, it was four months and a bouncy ball.

And today, we said “yes” to another opportunity. Who knows what lessons this opportunity has come to teach us. Yet despite the snake bite, I still find myself hopeful that maybe, just maybe, this time we will be caught in mid-air and our bouncing will cease.


  1. Linda Taglianetti · · Reply

    Still praying, keep me posted! Love you.

    Linda Taglianetti

    Sent from my iPhone

    1. Thanks so much Linda, love you too.

  2. So true! Thanks!

    1. You’re most welcome! 🙂

  3. Beautiful perspective. Sometimes a perspective change it’s all we need to go from hope-less to hope-ful! Prayers for your other opportunity. I love the bouncing ball analogy…such an accurate way to describe my feelings during this journey!

    1. Thanks so much for your prayers Laura, and may you find a bit more sky than cement as you bounce along this journey.

  4. Crumbs, hope you are ok. I hope the right one is coming without all this up and down…

    1. Thank you Heather, me too, me too.

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