Adoption: Turtles Come, Turtles Go

TurtleHere’s what I know after four years of failed attempts to start a family:

  • When you pray for strength, you get opportunities to find the reserve within you
  • When you open your heart, you make a difference to someone else, which will help you when your own heart gets broken in the process
  • Every prayer is answered, just sometimes with a “no”
  • Turtles come, and turtles go

Over the last few months I have lost my grandmother, we have been selected by a birth mother, who then changed her mind and selected another family, we found our seven-year-old cat dying on our kitchen floor-and later lost him, and we were picked by an expectant mother who changed our lives – only not by placing her child with us.

You see, turtles come and turtles go. And the day after the expectant mother’s baby was born, a baby we grew to love as our love for the expectant mother grew, a turtle, who’s medicine is motherhood, stopped me in my tracks while I was driving home (by literally sitting in the middle of the road). And then, just as abruptly, he disappeared from his basking spot at our house. He came, we loved him, and then he left.

So it is in life, things come and go. And with adoption, motherhood comes and goes too, it’s a part of the journey.

We don’t know why our paths cross then separate, however perhaps we don’t  need to know why because all that really matters is that we opened our hearts and let someone in, someone who needed a warm place to reside for just a little while.

So today I thank to turtle for showing me that motherhood was close to mine, yet that this time, it wasn’t meant to be. And I thank a wonderful mother for the opportunity to love her like I will love my own child someday, and for her courage to let me.

Because in the end, isn’t that what really matters, that we loved? For when we do, all of the rest will follow . . . and so will the turtle that stays with us forever.


  1. Beautiful… Thank you! Much love, Toni xxx

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