Relationships: when your north heads south

I’ve always been in awe of those relationships that, from the outside, seem so smooth. The ones where the couple hardly argues, never snapping at one another. The ones where two people seem to have found their compass in the embodiment of the other.

Me, I’ve never had one of those relationships. I suppose in this turn in time I’ve chosen to grow, often painfully, through my intimate relationships.

That choice has left me jagged around the edges, over cautious, prone to jumping to conclusions and at times eternally disappointed. Making that choice while also going through the trials of life compounds the growing pains: the inability to have a child, losing our first daughter after five months and struggling to wade through it all while welcoming our forever daughter into our lives with 24 hours notice.

It’s been hard. It’s been really hard. Yet I have tremendous gratitude for the partner I chose for this ride. One who has such tenacity that even when I dangle my feet over the edge of leaving, he stands rooted like an oak tree in the midst of a wild storm, immovable.

Don’t get me wrong; he’s far from perfect, yet so am I. We both have many more mountains to climb together, and apart, before we find a place of settling. Yet, despite just how south our relationship has gone over these difficult years, he’s still my Truth North.

So today if you’re struggling; struggling with all life has thrown at you; struggling with the barrage that has notched deep and painful holes in your relationship, like hard acorns falling swiftly on anything unlucky enough to lie below, don’t forget your true north. Because under all of the things that have gone south, under the hurt and anger, pain and let down, your True North still remains.

“She went to see him, and they flew paper airplanes, and the mad wind tore at their paper wings, and they flew like swallows, and they fell like kamikazes, and they crashed but did not burn, and everything changed, but nothing seemed different, and she, she did not know how close to stand.

She said, can’t you see we’re moving in all directions, can’t you feel the pull, but you’re still the one by which I chart my course, yeah, you’re still the one by which I chart my course.

You’re still my, still my True North. You’re still my, still my True North.”

– Meg Hutchinson & Anjte Duvekot, True North



  1. Verna Harvey Tweddale · · Reply

    Beautiful, my treasured friend, and such a joy to cheer from the sidelines . . . 🙏🏽👏😘

    1. Such a joy to have you there ❤️

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