Tag Archives: Adoption

Spinning on the Roundabout in the Playground of Life

When I was a kid I loved to spin on the roundabout. My friends and I would each grab a handle, then run as fast as we could around, and around, jumping on at the last moment just before the momentum caused us to topple over our own feet. Once safely on, we would lie on the cool […]

You Cannot Find Peace By Avoiding Life

If you have ever been in Grand Central Station in New York you have seen the pigeons. They are the birds who are missing toes, cut off in their attempt to climb the escalator to reach the light. Sometimes we too can feel like those wounded pigeons. Life has been hard on us, we have lived […]

Moving On Always Means Letting Go, Always

I wish that I could tell you, after the unimaginable loss of our daughter, and earlier any hope of parenting through pregnancy, that moving on, living again, can happen while still holding on, but I can’t; moving on always means letting go, always.   These last few days I have learned that lesson tenfold, and […]

Where the river meets the rock

“Promise me…you’ll always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.” – Christopher Robin to Pooh Exactly one hour ago I crossed into another year of life. It is 1am; it is April 9th; I am 39. In recent years I have come to love my birthday. As the […]

Infertility, Adoption, Loss: Before and After

When you lose a child there is a before and after; I suppose with any major trauma in life there is always a before and after. Who we are before, and who we are after. The two are never the same. I have lost before in my life, big losses that shook my heart to […]

The day we lost our daughter, and all the days thereafter

Two days ago (could it really only be two days ago?) we lost our daughter. There was one last smile and unknowing giggle from her perfect lips, one last peaceful drifting to sleep in the safety she knows as my arms, and one last reach to her daddy’s cheeks to wipe away his tears. And […]

Don’t Give Up

“If you long enough, and you don’t give up; if you’re strong enough, and you don’t give up; and you’ll be no harbor for the sorrow, just let it go. Don’t hang your head in sorrow, don’t give up just before you win, don’t wait around for tomorrow, open up your arms and let it […]